For 2015, I resolved to “Enjoy each day.” Not to do more fun things necessarily but rather to “see and feel more in every day as it is.” I’m already surprised by the results.
What was supposed to happen
In my original New Year’s post, I described three things I would do every day.
“Keep a journal. Reflecting on moments throughout the day will help me appreciate them more and increase my sense of fulfillment. Over time, I hope the repeated act of reflecting and writing will train my mind so I’m more aware of the moments as they’re happening.
Practice gratitude. When I wake up and before I go to sleep, I’ll think of things I’m grateful for, including moments throughout the day. I’ve tried this and it’s a simple, pleasant ritual that has made me feel happier.
Chart my progress. Just as Ben Franklin used resolution charts to cultivate 13 virtues, I’ve used them to help me develop new habits. So I’ll put my chart in a place where I’ll be sure to see it before I go to sleep, and each day I’ll track my journaling and gratitude habits and whether I’ve enjoyed the day.”
Looking back, I wrote in my journal on 18 out of 31 days in January. It felt like more. When I missed a day or two, I would go back and recall the highlights from those days, and that allowed me to savor them again. Once, though, the gap was too big and I couldn’t remember much at all.
“Where did those 4 days go?” I wrote. It was as if they never happened and I felt a strong sense of loss. That strengthened my resolve to keep writing.
I fared even better with practicing gratitude when I woke up and went to sleep. Perhaps that’s because I always do it at the same times and in the same place. Often, I’m thankful for simple comforts like a soft bed and warm shelter on a cold night, for my health, or for some moment with my family that day. It’s a lovely practice. Instead of reaching for my phone or running through a todo list in my head, the feeling of gratitude brings a contented smile across my face each time.
My progress chart was the weakest part of my resolution. The problem might be its location. Although my chart is taped to a wall I pass by often, I don’t have a consistent time for updating it and I simply forget. It’s just not a habit yet. So I’ll take one of the lessons from the best post I ever wrote about habits: “structure your life to help you attain your goals.” I’ll move the chart and make updating it part of some other existing routine.
The biggest surprise
I anticipated that the practice of regularly reflecting and being grateful would change my memory of each day. And that happened. But despite my imperfect habit, I started to experience something even more powerful.
Time slowed down.
Simple moments absorbed my attention. My awareness of them expanded, as if I was in a kind of altered state. It seemed as though the act of reflecting attuned me to look for special moments. So I started to appreciate them not just in hindsight but as they happened.
The feel of my son’s hand in mine as we walk to school.
The first sip of strong, hot coffee.
The technicolor display in the sky as the sun slowly rises.
The way my daughter blows a kiss to my wife and I each morning as she heads to the bus.
Before my resolution started, I wrote that “Time has flown because I’ve been careless with it.” That still happens. But sometimes throughout the day, I feel I might understand what Buddhists mean when they say “I have arrived.” I might finally be learning how to handle time like the precious gift it is.