Here are a few from my life list:
- Play the piano
- Speak another language
- Dance ballroom-style
- Do yoga (and have the lean, flexible body that comes with it)
Some of these learning goals have been on my list for decades, and I haven’t gotten very far.
Yet I’m optimistic that I’ll do all of these soon because I recently discovered a simple trick that’s changed how I think about change. Maybe it can help you, too.
“Touch the treadmill”
As a life coach, Martha Beck routinely works with people who have personal development goals but feel unable to make meaningful progress.
“I want to get in shape”, for example, is a common goal. But that seemingly simple, practical goal can be problematic for several reasons. We may have negative associations with the effort required to get in shape. (“Ugh. I hate exercise.”) We may not believe we’re capable. (“I’m not an exercise person.”) We may not have the knowledge or the environment we need. (“I just don’t have the time!”)
Any of these is enough to stop us from making much progress. Combined, you won’t get off the couch. What Martha Beck taught me was to break down the goal and begin with a small step so simple that it verges on ridiculous.
Can’t go for a run 4 times a week for an hour? Try once a week. Still too much? Go for 5 minutes. Not working for you? Walk to the treadmill and touch it. Every day.
Martha’s 2013 New Year’s resolution wasn’t “Get in Shape” but “go out to the barn where the exercise equipment is sitting and go touch it.” Here’s a 23-second video of her fulfilling that resolution. Success!
Why it works
While touching the treadmill won’t improve your cardio-vascular function, it will make it possible to bypass your hard-wired aversion to change.
In a recent talk at Jiveworld, Dr. Eddie Obeng described change and our reaction to it in evolutionary terms. Early in the history of human beings, major changes were a threat. When we’d see a saber-toothed tiger, the blood would flow to the base of our brain that regulates our fight-or-flight mechanisms. And the thinking parts would practically shut off.
Even today, when faced with big, audacious goals, our bodies react that same way. Seth Godin refers to it as the “lizard brain”. Steven Pressfield calls it the “resistance”. It's a common and natural reaction to change.
The more evolved part of your brain really does want you to achieve your goals - to develop new capabilities that can make life richer (and longer). But the part of our brains we carry with us from long ago is trying to protect us. So we have to re-frame our goals in ways that make them less scary and don’t activate that fight or flight mechanism.
Here, for example, is how I’m trying to eliminate the fear and anxiety associated with my own learning goals.
Want to play piano? Sit at the piano and play a scale each day for a minute.
Do yoga? Do the child pose (the easy one that I like) each morning.
Get better at Japanese? Sit with my daughter and do her 1st-grade Japanese homework together.
The basic idea isn't new, of course. It's why we have cliches like "Nothing breeds success like success" and "The hardest part of any journey is the first step".
But for so many of us, we never start. So if you find you're avoiding your goal, keep breaking it down until it’s simple and fear-free - even to the point where it seems ridiculous. By transforming your goals from saber-toothed tiger food into small, achievable steps that are easy and appealing, you'll greatly increase your chances of making progress.
Want to develop a new skill or habit? Touch the treadmill. Change your life.