“Upholstery on the subway seats”

Sep 10

He spoke of it as if it he had seen an alternate reality, one which, having experienced it for the first time, made him rethink his assumptions about human relations and cooperation, about what’s possible.

“He” is our school principal, talking about his summer trip to Japan during a presentation with parents. He’s a long-time New Yorker and world traveller, but this was his first time there. He seemed to still be processing what he had seen.

Beyond the glorious scenery and food, what he found most remarkable is how people interacted. Or, more precisely, how they seemed to share a set of social norms how that made things “just work.” Whether it was how people formed a line or crossed the street or how the trains were always on-time to the minute. There seemed to be a heightened awareness of, and respect for, oneself in relationship to others, those physically around you as well as those who relied on whatever product or service you provided in your work.

“There is upholstered fabric on the subway seats,” he said slowly, emphasizing the incongruity of such a thing. “Upholstery on the seats!”

His point wasn’t to talk about how wonderful Japan is or to denigrate the people of New York.

It was simply to share a positive example of the way things could be, an example of how shared social norms can help a group of human beings—it could be a team or a family, a school, community, or country—to live and work together in a way that brings out the best in us instead of the worst.

Maybe we can’t have upholstery on the NYC subway any time soon. But we can, in our own circles of influence, intentionally craft social norms that make that our everyday better.